Jaane Kya Dhoondta Hai, Ae Mera Dil

I have been thinking a lot these days about my bigger purpose in life, about the meaning of my existence.

There are days when I feel that I just want to do my MBA and then retire for the rest of my life. MBA because, I have received rejects for the last 3 years and I want to prove (to myself) that I belong there. Money is something which does not motivate me beoyond providing me enough to be able to support me and my mom, comfortably. But will I be able to lead 2 years of my MBA life like a saint, not expecting anything in return from the institute and hoping to do something post MBA that I will look forward to doing everyday.

Going by the current state of my mind it seems possible and I feel sure that its not going to be money which will drive me after 2 years. My motivation to go on will be fun, enjoyment, fulfilment and a realization of my bigger purpose.

However, when I talk to my friends who are in the final stages of their MBAs, its scares the shit out of me. They are back in the rat race in which I was in the final year of my engineering college. Running after that elusive dream job, looking for the best brand name, talking to seniors, making resumes, licking the asses of arrogant recruiters......phew

I just pray that I will be able to escape this trauma when I am in the final leg of my MBA days....but I am still not sure about my fickle mind.

For the moment I can think of these beautiful lines "Jaane kya dhoondta hai, ae mera dil, Tujhko kya chaahiye zindagi, Raaste hi raaste hain, kaisa hai yeh safar, Dhoondti hain jisko nazrein, jaane hai voh kidhar